What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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