...so i touched it.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
