When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
