But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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