Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
