Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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