He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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