I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
