If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
