I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
