guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
