Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize