Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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