Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
