the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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