I wanna bring you to show and tell
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
