Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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