honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
is that a dick in a sweater?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
