There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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