she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
high people should be assigned attendants
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize