i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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