just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
And my parents said I crawled through the house
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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