You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
