why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
