Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
