did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
