Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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