I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
