Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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