this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
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