his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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