You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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