had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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