the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
