When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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