Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
