He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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