i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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