Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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