life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
