Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
