I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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