We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
