I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Found your dick twin last night
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
