idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
