4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
