Don't make out with my wife yet
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
