We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
