That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
