Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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