So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
