Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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