pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
