the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
