he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
