I wanna bring you to show and tell
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
