I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
