hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My dick has a subreddit
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Randomize
