DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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