just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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