Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
