dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
