I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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