the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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