having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I just found a bag of teeth...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
