the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
