why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
