my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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