I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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