I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
