How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
