Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
