i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
