cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
