whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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