Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
