I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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