I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
