make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
